Be ready to read to an audience.

This is the one thing I pushed myself in to doing. To overcome my greatest fear, and take centre stage.

Oh, look at her. What a show off!

Those words can hurt and cut your confidence. As a child my grandmother’s words haunted me. I missed out on taking part in school plays. It also robbed me of confidence in other situations too, which had nothing to do with being able to act, or standing in the limelight.

Speaking up for yourself. Putting forward your points of view. Become a manager, and leader. Anyone who needs to address a crowd like giving a speech at a friends wedding or at a loved one’s funeral.

How I envied others for being so brave.

Once I took up writing I knew I would have to face my fear. I watched others, with envy. They made it seem so easy when they stood up to read. My stomach would bubbled at just the thought. I felt hot and cold and my hands would sweat. What if I made a fool of myself?

So sure my voice would break, too.

I told myself if people were willing to listen to others, why not to me too. It was such small gap between where I sat to standing in front.

Wasn’t my writing just as good as others.

I was give an opportunity to read to a crowd, but I lost my nerves fearing I would stumble on a word, get tongue-tied. My friend and international writer, Maggie Ford (Ivy) said she would read for me.
As the distance between standing on the sidelines and watching to standing in the limelight was the same distance between the earth and the moon. Too scary for me to cross.

As I stood listening to Ivy read aloud the words I knew by heart she stumbled on the same word I feared. The audience didn’t react. The ceiling didn’t fall. People came up to me and asked questions about my work. It was amazing. But I had missed out on an experience.

I promise myself next time I was asked I would do it. Lucky for me my husband was willing to drive from Essex across England to Swansea in Wales so I could experience reading aloud for the first time.

While we drove I practised in the car, as my husband timing me. The publishers allowed me to go first. I took a deep breath let it out slowly and read. At the end when the clapping started I felt the buzz all performers speak about, and I could finally silence my grandmother’s voice.

Being such a shy person I missed out on such much by not being a confident person. I felt I no longer wanted to miss out on hears others immediate reaction to my writing.

It’s one of the reasons I write in first person so when I’m asked to read I can take on the character. As I make sure there’s a strong hook in the opening paragraph so readers will want to read on, too.

Thanks to Gill and Bridge House Publishing I enjoy reading in front of an audience now.

I can’t sing, nor act so I will never know what it would be like to stand centre at a rock concert, or appear on X-factor, but that’s not important to me. I’m now a much more confident person who enjoys talking to others.

Have a great weekend,

Taken in Swansea Wales at my first reading.

Chat again soon.

1 Comment

  1. Great post, Paula and thank you for sharing. Both my brother and I have heard your voice via the internet and love it!! One day I’ll get to hear you read live. I’m looking forward to it 🙂

    Like

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