When fears strike I lash out. I know it’s a weakness I have. After years of putting up walls, I let my husband Russell in. He’s a good man, and with a smile and a hugs he lets me know it is time to calm down. Most others would either walk away, or add fuel to the flames. Not Russell, he understand it is just my frustrations at my lack of confidence after years of being held back and negative comments from others.
Today, I’m back in my dungeon working on the first lots of Stone Angels edits that have come back from my Darkstroke publisher. After having a panic attack and allowing my old frustrations to scramble my brain, I took a deep breath and focused on what I got right and not what was wrong. In the publisher’s email, the line I should have focused on was, ‘In general I found the story to be told to a very high standard indeed’.
Now I need to focus on my placement of commas. I find them to be tricky little sods, unlike a full stop who knows its place.
Being self-taught my doubts creep in, and I find that I’m allowing the negative voices from my past to have head space rather than focus on my achievements. I must believe I’m good enough otherwise the demons will win. Stone Angels more than anything else I’ve written, so far, means a lot to me. It is the first piece of writing I felt said all I wanted it to say. After it suffered so many rejections, I felt I had got it so wrong.
This morning I’m feeling much better and I’m more focused. DarkStroke’s publishers are being very understanding and I’m sure many other writers feel the same fears, too. So if you feel doubt creeping in remember, you are not alone. I’m here and I understand what you are going through. We can be stronger together.
Have a great day. Keep safe