Believing in oneself.

We all have insecurities. No matter who we are, or where we are from. Rich or poor and whatever the colour of our skin may be, humans by their very nature feel insecure about themselves and where they fit in to society. As children we don’t see our differences but as we grow these thing are pointed out by others around us.

When I was a child we lived in a tied cottage. Tied cottage in Britain means a dwelling owned by an employer that is rented to an employee. If the employee leaves their job they may have to vacate the property; in this way the employee is tied to their employer. The cottage came with my father’s job at the mill. One year when it was my birthday, I invited a school friend to my birthday party, but she turned up her nose, saying ‘No, because you lived in a dirty house full of rats.

The cottage is the grey building. The big house was next door. My father is fixing the family car.

Understandably she wasn’t my friend anymore after such a nasty remark, but it stays with me. When my parents got divorced my mother, sisters and I had to move out of our home and this left me feeling insecure. As a child, I never believed it was possible for someone like me to one day be the owner of my own home. That to own a house meant no one could take my home away from me again. It hasn’t always been an easy ride for me. When my own marriage broken down, I feared losing my home again, but this time I had a young son to take care of as well. I received a letter from my building society, (now a large bank) to say that I wasn’t in a position to continue with the mortgage. A visit to the bank about the letter left me feeling very anger after they messed me about. I went to another bank in the same street. The lady manager sat me down, and I showed her the letter and explained my situation. She told me, ‘You can do this. You don’t need anyone’s else help. Now you go back to your building society and made demands on them. You’ve always pay on time, and never fallen behind on your payments.’ I did what she told me to do. I thank the gods that they were watching over me that day and sent me to her. Blessed are strong-minded women.

My parents taking their first holiday away together. It was to be their last together too.

I’m proud of what I have achieved through hard work and long hours of overtime on low pay. I had basic school education, but my love of books and my need to learn has carried me forward. Unable to afford books of my own the library gave me all I needed. Though, believing in oneself can’t be learnt from books, only through experiences.

As a writer, human insecurities makes for a great read. Most plots are based on our insecurities and weaknesses. whether that be crime, romance, family sagas etc. To experience our own insecurities gives us the ability to write about them with compassion and understanding whoever we are, or whatever colour our skin may be.

Much love and peace to you all.

14 thoughts on “Believing in oneself.

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    1. I would love to meet Mrs Duck again and let her know what happened next. What an unforgettable name to go with an unforgettable lady. She told me it would cost to transfer my mortgage over to her bank, and I should fight them. I did, and it helped me to grow stronger as a person too.

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  1. I only know you here in cyberspace known as Facebook. But the way you have stuck to your goal to get published despite the earlier rejections, and disinterest. You persevered, and kept on trying, and you won out in the end. You are a stickler despite the odds, you never give up. The article shows your determination, and the reasoning behind it, clearly. Well done Paula. keep safe

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    1. Thank you, so much John. I wanted to prove to myself first that no matter, who you were, or where you came from, you can be your very best, if you believe in yourself.

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  2. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt memories, my treasured friend. You can now truly look back and be proud of all that you have accomplished with your talent and diligence. Much love, many hugs, and continued peace and prosperity to you!

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    1. Thank you Ray. Now I’ve taken up my next challenge. Get me some readers and promoting my work. 😂🤣 A tough job but I’m ready for any challenge.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Paula, my dear friend, you are absolutely ready for any challenge, and I KNOW you will succeed again! If I had free time right now (wrapping up school year, so Very Busy) I’d love to be one of you readers. In the meantime, please know I’ll be cheering you on 100%! Just open your window–yes, that’s me you hear! Hugs!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jim. I’ve always believed there are others who have overcome a far more difficult life than I have. I have been blessed with good health and a sound mind, and a willingness to get up when life knocks me back. At my darkest hour, my son saved my life. From then on, I did my best for him. Now, I have a chance to follow my creative dream as I’m blessed with a lovely husband. Having him in my life chased all the dark clouds away. 😊

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    1. Thank you so much. Once I have more time I will check out your blog. What I’ve just read show you have a great insight into the world around you. ❤️

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